Beer Quotes

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."  -- Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Frank Sinatra

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. -- W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case Coincidence? -- Stephen Wright

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. -- Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -- Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. -- Dave Barry

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry

He was a wise man who invented beer. -- Plato

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. -- W.C. Fields

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -- Steven Wright


Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

Beer: Helping white guys dance since 1862!

Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group