Ashland Hash Hymnal

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Asshole

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, to fight for my country,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

Dinah, Wont You Blow Me?

To the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad"
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Pumping like a dynamo
Dynamo, dynamo, dynamo

Dough, The Stuff....

Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks me beer,
Fa, a long long way for beer,
So, I'll have another beer,
La, La, La, La, La, La, La,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Down, Down, Down…..

Drink Two Beers

We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
Drink it down, down, down, down…

Get It Up, Get It In

Melody of Bonanza
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
Make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around
When I am done and I have cum
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around

God Bless My Underpants

Melody of God Bless America
God bless my underpants,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them,
And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the fly flap,
Wet with piss,
God bless my underpants,
They look like this!

Harriett Song

Well, the wiggle of her ass could make a dead man cum,
And the nipples on her tits are as big as your thumb.
She's a mean motherfucker;
She's a great cock-sucker;
She'a a har-ri-ette!

Head

Head?!?
Who said head?
I'll have some of that
and we did
and it was good!
and there was much rejoicing!
and then we fucked!
we fucked for hours,
uprooting trees and shrubs and flowers,
like vikings, with horns on our head!
head?!?
who said head....
i’ll take some of that
we don't want women/men with good taste!
we want women/men that taste good!

Her Left Tit

Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

His One-Skin

Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
So Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

Hot Vagina

Hot vagina for your breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s delicious and nutritious,
The flavor can’t be beat,
So take a tip and lick a clit,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.

If your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, that’s her asshole not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over

It's A Small Dick

Well its not very long and its not very thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It's a small, small, dick!

Mrs. Murphy

Put it in your mouth Mrs. Murphy,
It only weights a quarter of a pound,
Its got hair on its neck like a turkey,
And it cums when you jerk it up and down, down, down……

My Name is Jack...(I'm a necrophiliac)

MY NAME IS JACK (NECROPHILIA SONG)
Melody - Itself
Perv verses by Flying Booger

My name is Jack (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm a necrophiliac (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I fucks dead wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I fills 'em full of jism.
I get frustrated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When they're cremated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Cause try as I must (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I can't fuck dust!

Each time I pass a cemetery gate,
I whip it out and masturbate.

My name is Judy (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My favorite stiff's a beauty (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Though his pecker's soft and thin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I find his femur slips right in.
Most girls like their guys aware (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Me, I prefer Joe's lifeless stare (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Don't you call me a ghoul (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Just 'cause my Joe's real cool!

Each time I pass the mortuary gate,
My vagina starts to lubricate.

My name is Phil (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I likes my wimmen still (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I whack off in (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
An occupied coffin.
I love wrinkly wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Who are over sixty-five (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Especially if they died (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
At twenty-five!
Each day I try to copulate,
With my favorite deceased mate.

My name is Mary (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I met my lover through an obituary (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
So what if he's dead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
At least he doesn't fart in bed.
I like his leathery skin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I can poke it with a pin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And when the worms come out his butt (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I feed them to the mutt!

Every time I see a crematory urn,
My genitals begin to burn.

My name is Ron (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I get a hard-on (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When I see a redhead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Who's deader than dead.
You don't polka or waltz (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
With a girl with no pulse (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I like my wimmen old (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I prefer my wimmen cold!

Each time I pass a mausoleum,
My shorts fill up with creaum.

My name is Denise (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My man is deceased (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I think it's wise (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
To love a man who's demised.
I broke into his tomb (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Took him home to my room (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My mother Doris (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Admires his rigor mortis!

Each time I pass the old graveyard,
I find my nipples getting hard.

My name is Mitch (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I dig a wealthy bitch (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Not because she's really rich (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But 'cause she's in a six-foot ditch.
Most like their ladies hot (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I rather fancy not (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Just in case you have forgotten (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I prefer my wimmen rotten!

Each time I pass a funeral pyre,
My libido catches fire.

My name is Gertrude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Now you may think this rather rude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But I don't find it crude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
To go down on a dead dude.
He won't come in my mouth (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
His sex drive has gone south (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
He won't take my money (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And he'll never call me Honey!

Each time I hear a funeral dirge,
I get the old carnal urge.

My name is Paul (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My girl doesn't move at all (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
It's not that she's frigid (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
It's 'cause she's rigid.
Most like their wimmen quick (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Personally, the thought makes me sick (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I fairly dread (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Sleeping with the Undead!

Every time I see a hearse,
My akey-breaky balls ache worse.

My name is Mary Beth (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm actually into death (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Once they're dead I don't get high (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I want them AS they die.
As they start to come (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I crush their windpipes with my thumb (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When my lovers have death spasms (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I enjoy multiple orgasms!
lates my G-spot.

My name is Earl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Some people think I'm quite a churl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I once exhumed a little girl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I love the way her toenails curl.
I take satisfaction (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
In advanced putrefaction (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Her toothy grin and concave cheek (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Her sexy decomposing reek!

Each time I pass a funeral wake,
I grow a monster one-eyed snake.

My name is Monique (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm a necro-lesbian freak (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I love vaginal cavities (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Of expired celebrities.
Once in a very lusty mood (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I dug up Natalie Wood (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I used a casket hoist (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And found her still delectably moist!

When I visit memorial parks,
My pussy starts emitting sparks.

My name is Brucie (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm weird and fey and swishy (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My lover once was hetero (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But in death he's my special homo.
I used to like to fist him (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I could get my whole hand in (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But now he's overused (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
His rotting bum is simply huge!

Each time I pass a sarcophagus,
I'm seized with homosexual lust.

My name is Manfred (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Sheep are so hot when they're dead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I hit and killed one on the road (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I shot off a mother-load.
I keep my decomposing lambkin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Its starting to lose a lot of skin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
There's parts where you can see its skeleton (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And other parts I like to put my tongue in!

Every time I pass a farm,
My skivvies fill with juices warm.

Number One

(Starting with all digits errect)
Your not number five,
Number four,
Number Three,
Number Two...
Your Number ONE!!!! (Middle finger is last finger errect)
Drink it down, down, down...

O Glistening Shlong by Swamp Dick

Oh glistening shlong
Oh glistening shlong
Oh how I long to meet you
Oh glistening shlong
Oh glistening shlong
Oh how I long to beat you

You spew your goo, all in my face
Drips in my mouth, I love the taste!
Oh glistening shlong
Oh glistening shlong
Oh how I long to eat you

Oh glistening shlong
Oh glistening shlong
Of you so much is spoken
Oh glistening shlong
Oh glistening shlong
Of your love give me a token

You poke around, go up my butt
I have become, an anal slut
Oh glistening shlong
Oh glistening shlong
My sphincter is now broken

Oh My Darling

Oh my darling, don't say no,
Onto the sofa you must go.
Up with your skirt
Down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.

Put Your Left Leg/Tit Over My Shoulder

Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(wag tongue)
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.

Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
(shake head)
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.

Sally In The Ally

Sally in the ally sifting cinders,
Lifting up her leg and farting like a man,
Wind from her ass blew out six windows
Cheeks from her ass went blam, blam, blam,
Drink it down, down, down……

The Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .

There Was A Little Bird

There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin' on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck,
And shit about a peck,
He puckered up his little asshole.
(point at violators): Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole

This Old Man

THIS OLD MAN
Melody - Knick Knack Paddy-Whack

This old man, he fucked one,
Don't you know he had such fun,

CHORUS:
With a knick-knack paddy-whack,
He fucked his dog alone,
Fucked his dog and made him groan.

This old man, he fucked two,
A baby rabbit and a kangaroo

This old man, he fucked three,
Put up mirrors so he could see

This old man, he fucked four,
Three wasn't enough so he bought a whore

This old man, he fucked five,
Two were dead and three alive

This old man, he fucked six,
Has his sister turning tricks

This old man, he fucked seven,
The youngest one was just eleven

This old man, he fucked eight,
One sucked him raw and it felt great

This old man, he fucked nine,
God, this orgy is just divine

This old man, he fucked ten,
All he could say was, "Do it again!"

This old man, he fucked eleven,
Died of V.D. and went to heaven,
With a knick-knack paddy-whack,
Now his dog's alone,

Twenty Toes

There's game called twenty toes
It's played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
And the men with ten toes down, down, down….

Up Jumped the Monkey From the Coconut Grove

UP JUMPED THE MONKEY
Melody – None (this is a chant – leader first, repeated by pack)

Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove.
He was a cool motherfucker you could tell from his clothes.
He wore a two button Nanny with a six button stitch.
He was a hot fuckin' cock suckin' son of a bitch.

Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove.
Well he strode through the jungle with his prick in his hand.
He said: "Look out women, I'm your bebop man!"
Oh, he lined a hundred women up against the wall.

Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove.
He said: "Look out women, gonna fuck you all!"
Well he fucked ninety-eight till his balls turned blue.
Backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two

We've Got Virgins

Leader: We’ve got virgins
Group: We’ve got virgins
Leader: Yes We Do
Group: Yes We Do
Leader: Gonna get ‘em fucked up
Group: Gonna Get ‘em fucked up
Leader: Up the ass
Group: Up the ass
All: Drink it down, down

Whip It Out At The Ball Game

Whip it out at the ball game,
Wave it round at the crowd,
Dip it in Peanuts and Crackerjacks,
I don't care if you give it a whack,
Because it's -
Beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don't cum it's a shame,
For it's one, two,
You're covered in goo,
At the old ball game!

Why Was He/She Born So Beautiful?

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fuckin' use to anyone,
He's no bloody use at all.
They say he's a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me,
So drink it down, down, down . . .